Reasons
Well, I found out why I was dumped... Turns out the guy I was seeing has Parkinson's Disease and is not sure how to handle a relationship and his illness. I have Lupus and have had to deal with it for 10 years now. I, if anyone knows how difficult it can be to figure out when to tell someone, how to gauge his or her reaction, etc. It seems that it could be easier to just let go. Much like being Bipolar. I will tell someone about my Lupus long before I tell him or her I am Bipolar. There is still a stigma to illness and it's hard to get past.
He has no excuse for bailing on me because of being ill. I of all people am not going to run and hide because he has a disease. We have decided to be friends and I guess see what happens from there. I really like him, but I can't force him to be comfortable with me. He told me and no one else at works knows so I guess that's a good thing.
I have decided to start school again, just one class. I am not too sure if I can handle more than that right now. School has always been a thorn in my side. I want to get through it but can never seem to make it. I know it's the Bipolar, but it's hard to accept. I have been feeling pretty good lately so maybe it's a good time to start. I, as you all are aware, have to be careful of my stressors in life so I made sure it's a class that I find interesting and can stick with.
Oh well, I will keep checking in as class starts. I am already reading to get a head start. I think that way I may feel less overwhelmed. Have a good week.
posted by AnxietyAddict @ 1:24 PM
3 Comments:
Congrats on your class! I find that being bipolar, I tend to be perfectionist, and end of dropping out if I don't have the best grade in the class! Be easy on yourself, ok? And maybe easing into a friendship with your ex-b will be a good way to earn his trust and back into a relationship again....
Hi Sweetie!! Glad to see you're around here more often! :) As far as the ex, hopefully giving him some time to come to terms with his disease will help him to see what really matters in life.
My finance has COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and every so often he starts in with the "you shouldn't be with me, someday I'm going to be on oxygen, someday I may be in a wheelchair, someday, someday, etc....". I just remind him that I love him, all of him, even his lungs and it puts things back into perspective.
I also remind him that I can be paralyzed in a car accident anyday and he would have to take care of me. You never know where life brings us.
Take care of yourself, good luck with the class (might I ask what you'll be taking), and give that man a hug.
Hugs and love to you,
Erin
Thank you all for all the support. I think we are SLOWLY making some headway with the ex. He has been particularly flirty lately, whcih makes me smile. The class I am taking is Motivation, Performance, and Productivity. It should be pretty interesting. I am staying positive because I can do this.
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