Where I Belong

Things are good... Now maybe I am a little manic, or maybe I am just in a better mood, but things are good. I feel good emotionally and I love it. I love the positive me, I just hate waiting for the bottom to drop and the depression to come; because I know it is.

I stopped seeing the ex and as for the boyfriend, things were stressful for a while, but they have gotten better. We had broken up, again, last week until he started calling again and telling me how much he missed me, etc. I am a sucker what can I say. He said he was sorry but that he was just so stressed out because business was doing so poorly. He said he had to focus on things and cut out his "fun" activities, of which I was one. I think we were broken up for about 2 days, whatever.

So, here I am in this relationship again that will have no good ending to it and I have no idea where I belong in it. What role do I play in his life when he has a wife he is so dependant on financially now that he can't leave even if he wanted to? I can't understand why he wouldn't want to leave when he has said he was miserable, but I guess money is just that important.

I am broke again. I had done pretty well the last couple of weeks and now I am in a bind again. It will work out though, it always does. Something will give. What I don't know, but something will. I think I am going to go to one of those debt consolidation places. I did that once before and it worked out really well for me. I was able to pay off my bills in about a year and it was affordable. I just need to get off my ass and do it. I have realized, I just don't need credit cards; sometimes maybe not even a checkcard; but my account has not been in the negative for the past month and I am proud about that.

Work is going well. Things have slowed a bit and I am trying to take advantage of this time and plan for next year. We are in the middle of budgeting and it appears I won't have any money to play with :( When you work in a training department, that's no good, but I will continue to try and find ways to save and still make it fun!

Oh well, we shall see how the next week goes. I wish everyone else a great week!