Friday at Home

Home sick today... The stress finally caught up with me. Lupus flare; a lot of pain and exhaustion. Everything HURTS!

Here's the problem, I suck at being sick. I am, by nature and lack of mental stabillity, a busy body. So being sick kills me. I can't stand not being able to be out and about doing something. The lining of my stomach is inflamed... OUCH! I swear, I would never wish this illness on my worst enemy, it is horrible. Taking 29, yes I said 29, pills a day SUCKS! I don't usually bitch and moan but today I am. This shit isn't fair, no one should have to deal with this. If anyone is interested, check out the LFA site for a little light reading. (www.lupus.org)

My next tattoo will be a butterfly since this is the symbol of lupus because of this lovely rash we get on our faces. The thing is, I am not a fan of butterfly tattoos and they stike me as somewhat boring; but I think it would be beneficial because if I can't conquer this disease at least by experiencing the pain of the tatto and making it a more spiritual process then maybe symbolically I can overcome it. Tattoos are very therapeutic, and actually not that painful.

Boyfriend... We are still having to lay low. She will be here this weekend. He says he wishes he could come take care of me and that he really misses being around me. I am so frustrated by the situation, but it's what I chose for myself. He always asks if it's okay with me that we can't see each other until next week. Why does it matter, I have no choice. He says he just doesn't want me upset so he asks. Oh well...